"I'M GOING FISHING":

 Translation: I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and sit in a boat with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety.

"IT'S A GUY THING":

Translation: There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance in all of making it logical.

"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?":

Translation: Why isn't it already on the table?

"UH HUH", "SURE", or "YES, DEAR":

Translated: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

 "IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN":

Translation: I have no idea how it works.

"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND":

Translation: I was wondering if that blonde over there is wearing a bra.

"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD":

Translation: I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.

"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR":

Translated: Are you still talking?

"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS":

Translated: I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification number of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday.

"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES":

Translation: The girl selling them was a real babe.

"OH, DON'T FUSS. I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL":

Translation: I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt.

"HEY. I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING":

Translation: And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon.

"I CAN'T FIND IT":

Translation: It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless.

"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?":

Translation: What did you catch me at?

"I HEARD YOU":

Translation: I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and I am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't have to spend the next three days yelling at me.

"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE":

 Translation: I am used to the way you yell at me and realize it could be much worse.

"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC":

 Translation: Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving.

"I'M NOT LOST, I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE":

 Translation: No one will ever see us alive again.